


Do Kyungsoo’s Guide to Romance (ft. Kim Jongin)

by nakamoon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Neighbors, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:46:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9921509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nakamoon/pseuds/nakamoon
Summary: jongin draws dicks on kyungsoo's car, kyungsoo thinks jongin is a serial killer. but really, they're just neighbors who kind of like each other. maybe “can i borrow sugar?” will be their i love you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! so, this was originally written for the **exo free love au fest** with the prompt: _I saw you drawing a dick on my car window what the fuck are you doing??? is that your subtle way of asking me for my cock????_
> 
> my hand kind of slipped and i did what i always do, make a cheesy romcom out of everything. 
> 
> this is crossposted, so you can read here or at the fest's [livejournal ](http://exofreelovemods.livejournal.com/6818.html). you can also check out the rest of the fics!
> 
> this fic is dedicated to sam, melody, and alexa! thank you guys!

 

 

 

It starts with a penis as all great love stories do.

That Monday, the Monday when winter has fully arrived, is not a particularly nice morning for Kim Jongin.

For one, he’s freezing to death because of the oh, so great idea of wearing nothing but a plain white dress shirt a little too thin for this austere and unforgiving weather. He’s just not the kind of person to check the weather app and these are the consequences.

Second of all, it’s seven am and instead of doing what he loves most (sleeping, aka the love of his life), he is awake, with red exhausted eyes and a miserable pout. Jongin thinks coffee would be a good idea, except he doesn’t like coffee and he’s a little too proud to even buy a cheap one from the gas station next to his apartment building.

And third of all, and possibly most importantly, there is no sight of Oh Sehun. Oh Sehun, who was supposed to pick up Jongin approximately twenty minutes ago.

“I knew this would happen.” Jongin grumbles with chattering teeth and a sulking face before taking out his cellphone. Even if he’s called eight times in the last ten minutes, hope dies last. He walks up and down the narrow sidewalk, hoping to hear his friend’s annoying voice. Only the pitiful dial tone and a lone, drowsy pigeon make him company.

He sighs in frustration but dials yet again. This time he leans back on one of the parked cars, too preoccupied to actually take note of his surroundings. His finger slides across the cold, fogged up car window, mindlessly doodling his heart away.

Before he hangs up on the taunting dial tone, a familiar voice finally answers.

“Sorry, sorry.” Sehun laments with a low voice still groggy with sleep. “I woke a little late. I’m on my way.”

“You said to wake up early!” Jongin cries with a furrow of brows, “I would’ve slept more if I knew your lazy ass would oversleep.”

“Don’t shout,” Sehun mumbles from the other side, “My ears hurt, don’t be inconsiderate.”

Before Jongin can retort, Sehun continues, “Just be in that one corner in five minutes, we’re already late.”

“And whose fault is that?” Jongin replies, but Sehun has already hung up. With one last sigh, he gets up from his comfortable position and heads towards the left corner, the one with the blinking red light that needs to be fixed.

Jongin is counting exactly how many minutes it takes Sehun to get there. Seven. Jongin really wants to cry and get a new best friend. One who doesn’t oversleep or force Jongin to get drunk with him on school nights and then proceed to ditch him the moment he sees anyone remotely attractive.

There’s one thing Jongin remembers clearly, however, and he’s gotta thank Sehun for it.

Exactly one minute before Sehun arrives in his beloved Audi, Jongin catches sight of broody eyes and full lips and his heart jumps a little.

Jongin is cold and sleepy and his toes and fingers might be numb by now, but he wouldn’t exactly say his Monday morning went particularly bad.

//

  
Monday starts like every Monday starts. With an aching back from a mattress that sucks balls and a cup of tea that could be worse but it’s not his mother’s.

Kyungsoo looks out the window of his tiny kitchen. He can’t see much past the apartment building right in front of his, the windows are blurry and freezing, very much like winter Seoul.

He cranes his neck and finishes his cup with one last gulp before dressing up for school.

The apartment definitely feels quieter now, without Baekhyun roaming his way around serenading every single unanimated object. But even if Kyungsoo misses Baekhyun just a tiny little bit, he also certainly likes the quiet of his own home.

He picks a green sweater— _one_ , of his many green sweaters, a pair of khakis— _one_ of his many khakis, and off he goes.

When he gets out of the building, and as soon as the cold wind hits his face, Kyungsoo regrets not wearing something warmer. He only grits his teeth, though, and surges through the cold because he is already running a little late.

The weather feels so cold, that Kyungsoo wouldn’t be surprised if it started snowing. He hurries up his pace and turns just around the corner and—ah yes. There it is, his trusty Renault Clio in all its’05 glory. The one good thing Kyungsoo has going on for him, his love, his baby, his—

There’s a dick on the window.

Kyungsoo stares at it for a full minute, eye twitching. He stares at the badly drawn dick on the window of his car. It’s not even a good drawing.

“What the fuck?” he breaks out of his reverie and scrunches up his face in disgust. He takes a fistful of his own sweater and tries to erase the distorted and chunky penis before anyone sees his desecrated car.

If he looks close enough, he can still see traces of the drawing and _who the fuck did this?_ Kyungsoo looks around, eyes murderous, but the streets are empty and cold and the only ones there to witness Kyungsoo’s morning tragedy are the light specks of snow that are starting to finally fall from the gray, gloomy sky. The 23 year old purses his lips in defeat before sighing and getting inside the car.

That day, the ugly, fat penis is on the back of Kyungsoo’s mind.

//

  
Tuesday starts like every other Tuesday.

With a cup of tea that is slightly better than yesterday’s and a back that’s slightly worse than yesterday’s. He really needs to get a new mattress.

Today Kyungsoo feels like spicing it up. He grabs a _red_ cardigan and black jeans and suddenly he feels great. Like a James Dean, even. Today he feels good because he looks good and on Tuesdays he doesn’t see Chanyeol and he might even get the lead on the musical he’s been working on and Tuesday is just a really great day and Kyungsoo even cracks a smile at the old lady living next door (it’s more like a grimace but it’s the thought that counts).

So yeah, it’s a really great day, but it’s Do Kyungsoo’s life so the amount of time that actually lasts is an approximate of 10, _maybe_ 11 minutes.

Because of course. There’s another devastatingly ugly penis drawn on the fogged up glass of his car. This time, there is also a tiny smiley face right next to it, taunting him.

He is seething. So this wasn’t just a random criminal act. This was planned, this is a _personal_ attack against Do Kyungsoo. As is expected, when he turns around looking for the culprit, there is no one to be seen.

Of course not, they _know_ Kyungsoo’s schedule, they know when to attack and when to leave the crime scene.

_It’s ok,_ Kyungsoo thinks with a stern nod as he gets into his car. More than fine, really.

//

  
Wednesday doesn’t start like other Wednesdays. Wednesday starts 20 minutes earlier, as Kyungsoo is awoken by an alarm he is not used to setting.

Wednesday starts with a hard piece of toast and milk because he really doesn’t have time to boil water and make tea. It starts with a jean jacket he carelessly throws over a turtleneck and some black pants that need ironing. He doesn’t even get to gel up his hair or comb it down and it kind of resembles a nest, but it’s fine, it’s not like he needs to look good to confront a criminal.

He grabs his satchel and runs down the stairs with a speed he never uses and, when he finally gets outside, air even colder than yesterday’s smacking his face, Kyungsoo slows down for a moment, eyeing his surroundings suspiciously. He treads the sidewalk slowly, looking for any sign of movement as he walk to his beloved car, body high on alert.

For all that he’s done, Kyungsoo doesn’t really expect to see anyone there. Or perhaps he just wasn’t prepared enough to see what he would find.

He certainly doesn’t expect to see a tall, tall boy in a brown coat resting his body on his— _Kyungsoo’s_ car.

The other man hasn’t seen Kyungsoo, as he seems too engrossed in whatever it is he’s doing on his cellphone, but, as Kyungsoo tiptoes towards his car, he can see the clear drawing of another dick, a stupid smiley face and—

“Excuse me?” Kyungsoo says in a deeper voice than intended. “Are you—are you drawing dicks on my car?”

The boy finally looks up and Kyungsoo kind of regrets not dressing up a little bit more. Caramel eyes and pink lips face him with a surprised look that soon turns into a smile.  
It is not an endearing smile. It is not because that is the smile of a criminal, a nuisance of society.

“Hey,” the other boy waves. His voice is really deep, almost as deep Kyungsoo’s own.

“Who are you and why are you drawing dicks on my car?” Kyungsoo asks again, his voice slightly less aggressive than the first time.

“I’m waiting for my friend to pick me up,” the stranger smiles as if somehow that explained everything.

“That doesn’t explain anything.” Kyungsoo declares.

The man laughs. A laugh too loud and honest for this ungodly hour of the day. “He’s always late so I get a little bored.” He points towards today’s drawing.

Kyungsoo can feel himself start to tremble in anger and raises an eyebrow in defiance, “So you draw dicks on stranger’s cars?”

The man laughs again and it shakes Kyungsoo to the core. Not in a good way, of course. “I usually don’t, but seeing your reaction on Monday was kind of funny.”

Kyungsoo snarls. It’d be wise if he didn’t though, seeing as the other man was taller by about half a head. Probably stronger too. But Kyungsoo’s fight or flight response had always been a tad wonky either way.

“You were here on Monday? _You saw me?_ ”

“I’m Jongin.” He says instead, offering a hand. Kyungsoo doesn’t shake it of course.

“I don’t care what your name is _Jongin_.” Kyungsoo frowns. “I want you to go to that corner over there and stay there. Don’t look at me, and don’t come close to me, and I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but don’t draw your stupid fat penises on my car, ok?”

Jongin looks at him curiously before shooting him another smile. “Of course.”

Jongin doesn’t move an inch.

Kyungsoo can feel a vein pulsate. Now he really will be late to his 8am class. “What are you waiting for, _Jongin?_ ”

“Can you tell me your name?” Jongin says, in the very brat way Kyungsoo has come to get used to in just 10 minutes.

“Of course not.”

“I’ll move right away if you tell me your name. I’m just curious.”

Kyungsoo ponders for a moment. He doesn’t have time for games like this, but he also doesn’t want to be murdered by a potentially serial killer too tall for Kyungsoo’s own good.

“Byun Baekhyun.”

//

  
Byun Baekhyun, as always, is the embodiment of 1,001 trumpets squeaking at the same time. “Are you gonna eat that?” he says before sipping his orange juice and eyeing Kyungsoo’s untouched cream filled roll-ppang.

Kyungsoo, who had been staring at the poor pastry with intensity and anger, finally looks up to see his best friend slash number one enemy,

“I think there’s a serial killer after me.” he says with only the kind of seriousness Do Kyungsoo can muster.

Chanyeol, who had been too busy sucking his lunch like a vacuum, looks up in attention. Baekhyun only raises an eyebrow and takes another bite of his own bread roll. “Oh really?”

“I’m serious.” Kyungsoo frowns, “He’s been stalking me all week. Waits for me every morning outside of the apartment building before I come to school.”

“Maybe he wants to cut you up into little, tiny Kyungsoo pieces.” Baekhyun mutters. “You’re gonna have to go to Guatemala and change your name. Maybe do some plastic surgery.”

“Baekhyun-ah, I’m being serious!” Kyungsoo hits the slightly taller, yet-equally-short boy on the shoulder, making him wince and give a childish pout.

“Maybe he’s just a secret admirer, Soo.” Chanyeol ponders, mouth still full of food, “What makes you think he’s going to cut you up into tiny, little Kyungsoo pieces?”

“I wasn’t the one who said that,” Kyungsoo grumbles, “And he’s not a secret admirer. A secret admirer wouldn’t draw penises on my car’s window, I’m sure.”

“He would.” Baekhyun and Chanyeol agree in unison before high-fiving.

Kyungsoo ignores them. “He asked for my name this morning. Just like that. He threatened my physical integrity if I didn’t tell him my name.”

“Well, I for one think you might be exaggerating.” Baekhyun shrugs.

“Well that is rich coming from you Byun Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo sniffs with a scowl. “King of dramatic and boring monologues--”

“ _Boring_ \--”

“Well, did you tell him your name or not?” Chanyeol easily interrupts, too used to Baekhyun’s outbursts by now.

“Of course I didn’t.” Kyungsoo turns to look at the tallest of the three. “I gave him Baekhyun’s name.”

“You did what?” Baekhyun squeals from his side of the table, almost choking on his bread, “Well, that is _great_ , Kyungsoo. Now the serial killer will show up at my door to make tiny, little Baekhyun pieces out of me.”

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow, finally taking an aggressive bite out of his food. “I thought I was just being dramatic.”

“That was before you gave away my identity to a murderer.” Baekhyun sighs, “Is he handsome, at least? I mean, if you’re sending him to my house.”

Kyungsoo eats the rest of his roll-ppang in a mouthful, refusing to answer.

-

That afternoon he parks his car a block away from the apartment building. Security measures and all that. Kyungsoo almost wants to tiptoe on his short walk from the car to the apartments, but he knows he’ll just look all kinds of crazy. Instead, he decides to just be on the lookout for anything that might catch his eye.

The way back is almost deserted though, with only a few cars passing by too quickly and a woman in loud heels going the opposite direction. Kyungsoo relaxes a bit and thinks that, yeah, he might be going too paranoid with this whole thing.

Maybe this Jongin fella is one of those harmless street artists making his way around the city, drawing anatomically wrong pictures of crude body parts. On the back of his mind though, Kyungsoo thinks that no street artist would wear an expensive dress shirt and make it look like a Burberry model. Or maybe Kyungsoo is giving it too much thought.

“You never know, Kyungsoo.” He mutters to himself as he nears the building. He’s almost completely relaxed, lost in his own thoughts, which is what he sees next catches him off guard.

Jongin, with the same costly-looking dress shirt and pants, is walking towards his--Kyungsoo’s-- apartment building with sheer effrontery. _Why is he back?_ Kyungsoo can only be flabbergasted. _Is he really looking for me? Is he really going to make me tiny, little Kyungsoo pieces?_

He stays behind one of the building’s outside pilasters, hiding himself as he watches Jongin boldly walk toward the entrance, even greeting Seung Hyun, the old, passive doorman, on his way in.

Kyungsoo fumbles with his cell phone as he dials his, regrettably, first and most used contact.

“Soo-yah, my dear love. What’s up? Miss me?” the loud voice answers from the other side of the line. Kyungsoo winces as his left ear takes most of the shrill sound. He forgot to lower the call volume. A regrettable choice.

“Baekhyun. Jongin’s here. He just went inside the apartments. He’s--he’s waiting for me, isn’t he?” Kyungsoo peeks a glance at the entrance, no sign or trace of Jongin in sight.

“Wait, who’s Jongin?” Baekhyun asks confused, the muffled sounds of a videogame that he probably hasn’t paused can be heard through the line.

“ _Jongin_ ,” Kyungsoo hisses, “The serial killer!”

Baekhyun laughs with a mocking shock, “Ooh, so you’re on first name basis with the murderer, I see.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t resist the urge to roll his eyes; he does it. “Well, since you’re clearly of no help, I’m gonna hang up now. If I don’t show up for lunch tomorrow, you’ll now I’m dead.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, Soo. You know I don’t want you to die. Who’ll be my--”

“What I know is that you always lose. Bye, see you tomorrow.”

“Hey, wait a minute--” But Kyungsoo hangs up before Baekhyun can finish. He’s decided to just go in, he can’t keep freezing outside in such weather. If it comes down to worst and Jongin is waiting for him inside with a knife, or god forbid, a chainsaw, he thinks he and old man Seung Hyun can fight him off together.

With a tired sigh he makes his way to the glass doors. He greets the doorman, who gives back a warm smile and bow and everything looks pretty normal.

There’s no sign of Jongin in the lobby. Which doesn’t really calm Kyungsoo, but if death is going to come for him then it might as well be by the hands of a handsome yet slightly idiotic tall man with nice lips. He’s gotta accept his fate now.

Kyungsoo takes the stairs slowly, satchel over his shoulders and when he finally gets to floor 4, he just wings it with a wobbly run towards the last door of the hallway. He’s never been much for sports so death might come in the form of ragged breaths instead.

With key already in hand, Kyungsoo is ready to open the door, finally saved from murderous intentions and he’s happy because he’s had a long day and he wants to eat that cold kim chi spaghetti leftover from yesterday and--

He feels the voice before he hears it.

“Byun Baekhyun!”

He’s known Jongin for an approximate of 13 hours, out of which they talked for a mere fifteen minutes, yet, he can still recognize that deep voice pertaining the serial killer. Kyungsoo whirls around, almost dropping his satchel full of books. _This is death_ , he thinks, bracing himself for a swinging ax.

However, the taller boy, wearing a stupid smile on face, just waves a him from afar before walking up to him. It’s astounding how he looks just as good as he did in the morning. Kyungsoo probably looks a mess after several hours of class and theatre practice, with hair sticking upwards, dry sweat on his face, and food stains on his sweater. He suddenly feels self-conscious and that should be the least of his worries. He should probably be thinking why on earth is Jongin inside his apartment building.

“That is me, Byun Baekhyun.” Is what comes out of his voice instead. Then adds as a second thought. “What are you doing here?”

Jongin falters for a moment. Kyungsoo realizes that probably wasn’t the most polite thing to say, considering the fact that Jongin doesn’t seem to have a weapon within sight.

“Uh,” Jongin look at him with a funny, expression, “I live here.” What? “That’s my place.” he smiles as he points towards a brown oaken door very much just like his, except Jongin’s is marked with a small 305. Kyungsoo lives in in 304.

For a moment he thinks Jongin is joking, that he’s pulling his leg or something akin, but--

“Kyungsoo, we’ve been neighbors for two months now.”

In the stretch of time that 1 second can give him, Kyungsoo realizes two things. Jongin is his neighbor. A neighbor whom he hasn’t seen before. A neighbor who looks like Jongin does whom he hasn’t seen before. Kyungsoo chokes on his own saliva. He feels a little (read: hella) stupid. The second thing he realizes though--

“Wait how do you know my name?” he says instead of crying from embarrassment, “And why didn’t you say anything when I told you my name was Baekhyun?”

There’s a pregnant pause between them before it is Jongin’s ears turn to shade a lovely color pink. It goes well against his tan skin.

“I--isn’t it normal to know your neighbor’s name?” Jongin scratches his head with a nervous laugh. Only then Kyungsoo notices the small grocery bags Jongin is carrying.

“You went out shopping?” he adds, pointing at the bags on his left hand. Ecobags. So he’s one of those. Kyungsoo pretends he doesn’t use them either.  
-  
“Uh, yeah,” Jongin smiles back, “I’m about to make dinner. Ma--”

“I’ll leave you to it then. Goodnight.” Kyungsoo nods in understanding, his own heavy books tiring his shoulder by now. With a swift motion, the shorter boy jams his key into the keyhole and is out of Jongin’s sight just as fast as he had arrived.

“Ok,” Jongin sighs, “Goodnight, Kyungsoo.” But Kyungsoo is already inside and Jongin’s words are heard by none.

//

  
“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol yells from the other side of the line, “ _So the serial killer is your neighbor_?”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and it’s a misfortune that Chanyeol can’t see him. “No. The serial killer is just my neighbor.”

Chanyeol hums in thought. “So he’s not going to kill you? You just happen to be neighbors with a serial killer?

“He’s not--He’s not a serial killer.” Kyungsoo exclaims, tired. “He just lives right next door.”

“Oh.” Chanyeol sounds deflated, “That’s disappointing then.”

“So you just really wanted him to kill me?” he frowns, “That’s nice of you, Park Chanyeol.”

Kyungsoo hears deep laughter from the other side of the line. “No, but it’d be cool if he were. I bet he’s boring then. Like my neighbors. All my neighbors are old people.”

He furrows his eyebrows, “I don’t know what he does, but Jongin doesn’t seem that old.”

“How old is _Jongin,_ then?” Chanyeol emphasizes with a mirthful tone and Kyungsoo is disgusted.

“I don’t know Chanyeol, why don’t you ask him?” he snaps back, “Maybe he _is_ a serial killer and he’ll finally murder you.”

Chanyeol wheezes in laughter, “As always, hilarious my friend.” Kyungsoo grunts.

“If you’re done, I’m gonna hang up now, Chanyeol.”

“Of course, Kyungsoo-yah. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Wait, Chanyeol--” he says before his friend can hang up. There’s a moment of silence before he continues, “Don’t tell Baekhyun about this. About Jongin being my neighbor.”

“Why not?” Because of course Chanyeol’s brain is not capable of understanding the concept of hiding something from nosy Byun Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo sighs, finally walking from his kitchen counter to his worn sofa, hot tea in hand. “He’ll make fun of me for overreacting, you know he will.”

“Of course. Don’t worry Kyungsoo.” his taller friend says. His voice doesn’t sound too convincing and Kyungsoo is ready for tragedy.

He says his goodbyes to Chanyeol and settles comfortably into the nook of his couch. His belly is full from the soybean sprout soup he made from scratch that night and an array of books sits on the small coffee table in front of him. He’s finally ready to revise his notes of the day when tragedy strikes.

His phone rings and it hasn’t even been a three full minutes since he and Chanyeol said goodbye. Kyungsoo is not surprised. Just slightly exhausted. He just wants to get this over with so he can study in peace.  
“What do want Baekhyun?” He bites in greeting staring at his tea in hopelessness. There’s no pause between his question and the reply the follows.

“ _Jongin the serial killer is your neighbor?_ ”

“You know, this is why I don’t trust Chanyeol.”

“Can I say I told you so?” Baekhyun preens in reply, “You were overreacting for some goddamn reason.”

“Is this all you wanted to talk about?” he massages his temples, “Because I have to study before I go to sleep, Byun.”

“Wait, wait. Is he old? Chanyeol said he was an old man.” his friend asks.

At this point, he doesn’t know who is worse: Chanyeol, Baekhyun, or his serial killer of a neighbor. “He’s not old. I think. He looks older than me though. And he wears dress shirts.”

“Ooh, an older man for Do Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun taunts, “Is he hot? He has to be, right? For you to even remember his name even though he was a potential serial killer.”

“That has nothing to do with it I’m sure.” Kyungsoo frowns into his tea.

“So that’s a yes?”

“It’s a leave me alone, I have to study and you do too.” he says exasperated. He really doesn’t want to tell Baekhyun any of this. Considering the fact that Jongin is, in fact, hot.

“Alright, I can question you tomorrow, I guess.” Baekhyun laments. “But we’re gonna talk about this I assure you.”

“No, we’re not. Now goodnight, Baekhyun. Hope you have nightmares tonight.” he hangs up and rubs his tired, droopy eyes before stifling a yawn. His exams don’t start until next week, but he still wanted to prepare himself for the inevitable. It seems Chanyeol and Baekhyun don’t share the same worries as him.

He spares one glance at the opened but unread books in front of him. Taunting and chiding him, he can feel it.

“I’ll start, I’ll start, don’t you judge me.” he grumbles.

But for the third time in the past few minutes, his phones rings once more. It’s a shrill sound and Kyungsoo ought to change the ringtone. Maybe just change his cell phone number. Or his friends.

He turns around, averting his gaze from the glaring books. He answers. “What do you want Jongdae?”

“Kyungsoo-yah!” the voice yells from his side of the line. “Baekhyun told me you like your hot neighbor.”

Kyungsoo chokes on air and hopes Jongdae doesn’t hear it. He can only stare at the wall next to him while his tired brain tries to work out whatever nonsense Jongdae is babbling on about.

“What is this with you twisting and manipulating my words? Do you guys have a secret group chat where you just talk about me and my misfortunes?”

“How did you know about that?” Jongdae remarks curiously.

“You d--”

“Anyways, I feel like you’re avoiding the subject. Is your neighbor hot? Have you banged him? Why was I not aware of this?” Jongdae says in a flurry of comments.

“I’m not avoiding anything, there’s just nothing to talk about,” He drawls with a scowl and a deep voice, “No, I have not banged him and I will not do so, I met him today and you were not aware of this because you’re annoying.”

“Then why did Baekhyun and Chanyeol know?” his friend says in his quintessential whine. “I’m a 6 in the annoying scale. They’re a 9, at the very least.”

“Don’t lie to yourself Jongdae, you’re a solid 8.”

“That hurts a lot. But as long Baekhyun is a 10, I’m fine.”

“He’s an 11, don’t worry.” Kyungsoo sighs. “Look, I’ll tell you the whole story tomorrow, I’m just going to sleep now.”

“Aye, aye, Kyungsoo. Sleep well. Dream of me.”

“You said to sleep well.”

Jongdae laughs one last time before saying goodnight. Kyungsoo can’t help a small smile on his face before hanging up.

He looks around his small living room, where the sunlight that had once lit up the room in warm comfort a couple of hours ago, has gradually disappeared only to give room to the soft glow of the moonlight falling through the curtains. Kyungsoo blinks, adjusting his sight to the new lightning, realizing how much time he’s lost while on the phone. He sighs for an umpteenth time before stretching his numb legs and walking up to close the window.

He’s more tired than usual. Kyungsoo is not used to waking up at 6 in the morning for a stranger.

  
//

  
Thursday starts like any other Thursday except Kyungsoo is feeling nervous and his stomach is churning in unpleasant way.

He’s not exactly sure why or how, but at 7am, while he’s having his jam on toast, his leg won’t stay still and his mind can’t help but go back to Jongin’s penis. Jongin's drawing of a penis.

He frowns, shaking his head, trying to disperse odd thoughts and instead gulps down his orange juice. This morning is calmer than yesterday, he still has plenty of time before class, and Kyungsoo pretends there’s not a small, crawling itch telling him to leave earlier than usual. Instead, he looks at his weather app, it will be chilly again. At his facebook feed, Junmyeon posting memes. At this Instagram, Sehun posting hipster pictures. At--

Kyungsoo scrolls back. _Sehun’s Instagram pictures._ Someone above him is testing his strength. There, in all its glory, a picture of Sehun, Kyungsoo’s dancer friend, and Jongin is posted. Of all 50 million people in Korea and Oh Sehun is friends with his hot slash serial killer neighbor. Jongin is tagged with the ridiculous username of @kimkaaaaaa and Kyungsoo is one second away from clicking on it and start stalking, when a notification message pops up, breaking him out of his reverie. He’ll have to remember to thank Baekhyun later for inadvertently stopping him from embarrassing himself.

He coughs into his hand before grabbing his satchel and trudging off out of his apartment.

He is not surprised when he doesn’t find Jongin drawing dicks on his car that morning. He didn’t expect it since Jongin is usually there earlier. However, he really should have seen coming the smiley face drawn on his car window. It’s not a penis anymore. It’s just an innocuous smiley face staring down at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo gives a soft, surreptitious smile before getting inside his car. This time, he leaves Jongin’s drawing there.

//

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Friday and Kyungsoo wakes up before his alarm can ring.

It’s now a moot point to complain about his back; he isn’t getting a new mattress anytime soon. Not even a sigh can be elicited from the tired boy.

He looks at his clock on the nightstand next to him. 5:56. He moans in despair at the unholy hour. There is absolutely no reason for him to be up so early. He tries closing his eyes once again, to go back to sleep for at least one more hour, but his mind won’t stop thinking about the cold in his toes and how freezing the left side of the bedsheets are.

Ten minutes is all he can stand before getting out of bed with a whimper as his bare feet touch the ground. He used to think winter was nice, but that was back then when he lived in his parent’s house, with nice heating, one hundred blankets, and a mother to keep him warm. Adult life sucks but the weary idea is being engraved on him slowly but surely.

He tries watching TV, then tries doing homework, but his sleep-addled brain is too tired for any of that. He thinks about just heading for school, that he has nothing to do here and that he could go to the library and study. And while that is technically true, there are other thoughts and reasons on the back of Kyungsoo’s mind.

It doesn’t take him ten minutes before he doffs pajamas and puts on his clothes for the day. A simple black turtleneck and jeans. It never takes him long to get ready, either way, but this morning he might take a little bit longer doing his hair. He ignores all of this by humming a showtune.

He keeps on ignoring all of this by putting on earphones as he walks downstairs, and even more so when he makes his way towards his precious car.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know why he does these things to himself. He suspects it might be a masochist tendency, but that is yet to be confirmed.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a long silhouette a little far off from his car. Kyungsoo knows this is Jongin, who is probably looking at his phone while waiting for his friend. Kyungsoo regrets this decision and wants to go back to his cold bed. Instead, when he sees Jongin look up, he pretends he doesn’t see him and walks directly to his car, humming aggressively under his breath,

“Kyungsoo-hyung!” he can hear in a muffled voice from under his earphones, but Kyungsoo keeps on walking. He thinks that if he goes a little faster, he can manage to get to his car before Jongin gets to him.

“Kyungsoo!” Jongin greets him with a smile, lightly touching his arm. Kyungsoo miscalculated. Jongin's long legs were a variable not considered.

He takes off his earphones with a grimace Jongin doesn’t seem to notice.

“Hello, Jongin.”

A bird flies overhead, its squawks echo throughout the solitary street.

“You’re here early.” Jongin states the obvious.

“I am.” Kyungsoo coughs. “I’m--I’m going to the library. To study. I study a lot.”

Jongin smiles. “That’s great, right?” It’s incredible how every time, Do Kyungsoo sees Jongin, the latter manages to look even more handsome.

Kyungsoo nods. “Studying is super great.”

“Yeah, I wish I had that mentality all the time,” Jongin laughs, a small puff of air visible because of the cold. “Sadly, I only do that one day before exams.”

Kyungsoo gives a short snort because he relates but he isn’t going to tell Jongin that. He is a sophisticated student who puts priorities first. Then a thought hits him.

“Wait, you go to school?” he exclaims and the sophisticated impression he’s trying to give off might possibly not work.

Jongin looks at him funnily and yes, this is how it starts. That’s the face of someone who will think Kyungsoo is weird after a few more sentences.

“I do,” Jongin speaks, “I’m a sophomore in college.”

Kyungsoo can feel his heart and his brain explode. His brain does not comprehend how tall, dark and handsome Jongin, who dresses better than him and has the air of sophistication of a nice, aging cheese, is actually younger. By two years.

He feels very stupid.

1\. For thinking Jongin’s expensive dress shirts made him automatically older than Kyungsoo and

2\. For being intimidated by a man-child.

Suddenly, _Kyungsoo-hyung_ makes sense and it’s not just a kink like Kyungsoo had originally thought.  
“Are you going to school right now?” he asks instead, averting his gaze.

“I am.” Jongin replies back, small pout in face “Sehun picks me up every morning and then we leave together. But he’s always late so I mostly wake up earlier than necessary.”

“ _Sehun_.” Kyungsoo purses his lips in annoyance. “Oh Sehun, right?”

“How did you know, hyung?” Jongin questions, eyes not meeting Kyungsoo’s. Instead, the gaze lowers, his eyes--

“Just a guess!” he says quickly. He won’t admit to any stalking. “Uh, well, I have to go to class now. The library, so you know. See you later.”

“Of course we’ll see each other later.” Jongin smiles as he waves Kyungsoo goodbye.

Jongin is a tad creepy, Kyungsoo decides. But he knew that yesterday. Today he has also decided that Jongin makes him, Do Kyungsoo, a little dumb.

Hopefully, Jongin doesn’t dislike him too much.

//

  
“I like Kyungsoo.” Jongin whines into the cushion. “ _A lot._ ”

Tao takes a bite off from his sandwich, eyes glued to his phone. “I don’t know who Kyungsoo is. Should I care?”

Jongin frowns, “Well, I just said I liked him, didn’t I?”

Tao hums in disinterest, “I don’t know who he is, Jongin.”

Jongin stands up from his slouched position on the sofa, and gives his flatmate a scowl. “Do Kyungsoo, as in, our neighbor.”

“The old man next door?” Tao pulls a disgusted look. “Jongin, I know you haven’t had proper sex in a long time but that’s a new low for you.”

“Not that one, Zitao!” Jongin weeps, weakly punching Tao’s arm. His friend laughs, voice nasal and high pitched and Jongin knows his leg has been pulled.

“Yes, of course I know who Kyungsoo is.” Tao rolls his eyes, finally turning off his phone. “You have mentioned him daily for about a month now.”

“I thought you were ignoring me all this time. You let me embarrass myself just like that.” Jongin splutters with a scrunch of the nose. His eyes turn to the TV, where a National Geographic documentary about dogs plays in the background.

“You embarrass yourself alone, don’t blame me for that.”

“He’s so handsome, Tao,” Jongin mumbles, taking a piece of Tao’s sandwich and popping it into his mouth. It earns him a growl and a slap on the wrist. “And he’s shorter than me and he’s really cute and his eyebrows are fuzzy.”

“So you like fuzzy eyebrows.”

“I like them on him.” Jongin replies, “Sehun can shave them off for all I care.”

“I’d rather cut off Sehun’s legs than his eyebrows.” Tao laments. “But back to the point, Jognog, which is your painfully dry sex life--”

“It’s not dry. That dry.”

“I will ignore that lie.” Tao continues, “And if you like Do Kyungsoo so much, why don’t you just ask him out?”

Jongin sighs, loudly, dramatically and self-wallowing. “ _Because_ I think Kyungsoo doesn’t like me.”

“It’s not like I’m calling you hot, but... aren’t you hot? By Korean standards, I guess. I don't know, I'm chinese. Chinese people like Sehuns."

“I am!” Jongin laments, “But I can see him trying to avoid me. He averts his eyes and he looks uncomfortable. He didn’t even know we were neighbors until I told him yesterday. He then left before I could ask him if he wanted me to make us dinner.”

“My god, you really are Sehun’s friend.” Tao mutters under his breath and stands up dusting himself off. “And I'm glad you didn’t get to make him dinner. Were you trying to impress him with a ketchup sandwich or something?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jongin looks up.

Tao sighs. “As your hyung, it’s my duty to tell you you’re acting stupid. Talk to Kyungsoo or you’ll have to start hooking up with our other neighbor, I see that old man checking you out all the time.”

Jongin shivers with a grimace.

//

  
Kyungsoo's saturdays are usually spent either one of two ways: either he sleeps all day and only wakes up to make himself ramen at 5 in the afternoon, or he wakes up at 7 in the morning and does everything he didn't do all week.

Today is somewhere in between. He doesn't wake up at 7; but he doesn't let his lazy self take over that day either. Instead, his eyes flutter open at 9 and by the half hour, Kyungsoo is already eating breakfast. _I’ll study later_ , he decides, _first, I have to clean up this pigsty_. He looks around his own apartment and is mildly disgusted. Clothes are carelessly thrown over the living room, half-empty glasses cover most surfaces, and half of his shoes are probably scattered throughout the grimy place.

Kyungsoo has to cast away his eyes in shame while taking a sip of his coffee. The apartment resembles the dumpster he and Baekhyun used to live in, back when Baekhyun and Kyungsoo lived together. Except this time, there’s no Baekhyun to blame and it’s all Kyungsoo’s own mess. “Cleaning day, I suppose.” he mutters under his breath as he takes the dirty dishes to the sink.

By midday, and with his favorite trot playlist songs playing in the background, Kyungsoo is more than halfway done with his cleaning. The floors have been mopped, the windows have been scrubbed and cleaned, and the all the strewn pieces of clothing have been collected. All while Kyungsoo has been enthralled in good singing and graceless dancing to old beats about long lost love. It’s a good Saturday, all things considered.

It’s in the middle of Jang Yun Jeong’s _Omona!_ , that Kyungsoo is surprised by a knock on his door. The only living people that actually ever come up to his flat are Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Jongdae, and his mom. But his friends never knock, instead opting for barging in unless the door is locked, and when it is, it’s not a with a few soft knocks to alert Kyungsoo of their visit, but with loud voices demanding entrance to the ogre’s lair, as they have taken to calling it. It could be his mom, but she always calls beforehand. With knitted eyebrows and curiosity piqued, Kyungsoo stands up from the floor where he has been trying to get rid of a mustard stain on his carpet.

When he opens the door, he is met with no other than the bane of his existence, Kyungsoo wants to say he is surprised. He kind of is. But that’s not what goes through his mind at that moment, instead, his thoughts get divided in two. One, he probably looks a mess. He can feel his face covered in dust, his hair probably resembles an abandoned ostrich nest, and his cleaning clothes, a battered black t-shirt and some old sweats, probably make him look like someone who needs to take a bath.

The second thing whirring through his mind in the two seconds after he opens the door, is that Jongin looks good. As always. This time, however, he isn’t wearing a dress shirt, but a pink sweater a bit too big for him. His skin looks glowing and his lips look pink and Kyungsoo wonders if they would taste as sweet as they look--

“Yes, how may I help you?” he half shouts into Jongin’s face, sounding more like a supermarket worker than a friendly neighbor.

“Good day, hyung.” Jongin smiles. He has sweater paws. Unacceptable. This just makes Kyungsoo want to punch him in the face. Not in the way he thinks of punching Baekhyun in the face; in a softer, more loving way, he supposes. “Uh, I was wondering if you…” he drawls in a sleepy voice.

“Yeah?” Kyungsoo tries to compose himself, dusting his hands on his pants and surreptitiously wiping the sweat of his forehead.

“Were you working out right now?” Jongin asks.

Kyungsoo coughs, “Something like that.”

Jongin nods in awe. “Oh, well I was actually wondering if you had any sugar that I could borrow.”

Kyungsoo stares at Jongin. Jongin stares back. It’s only then that Kyungsoo notices the small crystal cup he has in his hand. Right, so this is why Jongin is here.

He nods and motions for the other boy to come inside, “Sure, I have a lot. Just went grocery shopping a couple of days ago.”

Jongin steps inside. With curious eyes and a sniffing nose, Jongin looks around. Kyungsoo suddenly feels self-conscious. He can’t imagine how he’d feel like if he hadn’t cleansed his apartment that morning.

“It smells nice.” Jongin notes, “And it looks really clean.”

“Yeah, I love--” Kyungsoo scratches the back of his neck, “I love cleaning.”

“So you love to study and clean.” the taller boy praises, following Kyungsoo to the small kitchen. “What a role model.”

Kyungsoo hopes Jongin doesn’t see his grimace and tries to change the subject. “So, uh, what are you using the sugar for?” He walks up to one of the higher cupboards, trying to reach the bag of sugar. Kyungsoo prays to whichever higher entity that he’ll be able to get it without much embarrassment.

He can already feel Jongin walk towards the cupboard, probably to help Kyungsoo, a poor unfortunate short person, reach a simple bag of sugar. He can hear the other boy’s footsteps walk up to where he is, the warmth of Jongin’s body gets closer and Kyungsoo thinks he won’t be able to survive if Jongin presses himself against his back.

“I got it, I got it! Don’t worry!” he says before surging forward with a jump. He takes the bag without much problem and for once the gods have taken pity on him. He turns around and hands Jongin the sugar.

“I just need a little,” Jongin catches the bag from Kyungsoo, who looks a bit red from exertion. “I’m making a cake, by the way.”

“Oh, so you bake?” Kyungsoo looks up curiously, leading Jongin out of the kitchen.

The younger replies. “Yes.” Jongin bakes as much as Kyungsoo likes working out, but neither of them need to know that.

“I’ll bring you some cake when it’s done, hyung!” Jongin walks towards the door, his short moment in Kyungsoo’s apartment coming to an end.

“Well, I hope it tastes good.” Kyungsoo nods once with a genuine smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m a great baker. I’ll make it especially for you!” Jongin says as a goodbye before Kyungsoo gives him a platonic thumbs up.

Kyungsoo closes the door with a soft thud. His smile vanishes. He’s sweating. Mayday, Jongin is the cutest.

 

//

  
The door closes with a soft thud and Jongin is shook.

Kyungsoo was in a sweaty t-shirt, face red like a tomato, and his place smelled of febreze scented candles. He realizes Kyungsoo is hotter than expected.

He also realizes he’s got to bake a cake now. He doesn’t know how to bake, never has in his 21 years of being alive.  
He walks back to his own apartment, It’s not as clean Kyungsoo’s, he notes, but it’s decent enough if he ever wanted to invite him in.

“Tao? Are you still here?” he shouts as he makes his way to the kitchen, placing the sugar on the counter. There’s no answer from Tao, so Jongin guesses he must’ve left with Sehun already. He doesn’t mind, it’s as if Tao (or Sehun for that matter) was to be of any help in Jongin’s baking endeavor.

He sighs one last time before opening up his phone’s browser and looking up easy cake recipes. He settles for a simple chocolate cake one.

He grabs all the ingredients; flour, milk, sugar, eggs, vanilla, baking soda, coffee. _Cocoa powder_. He doesn’t have cocoa powder. Great. It’s like this that his dreams of baking a cake for his favorite neighbor go to the trash. Or not.

“So smart, Jongin.” he mutters to himself before bolting for the door, yet again.

The odds that Kyungsoo actually has cocoa powder in his home are slim, but if he doesn’t, Jongin will have a great excuse for not baking the cake, plus he gets to see Kyungsoo again.

He knocks on Kyungsoo’s door softly, hoping that the older man is still there. He knocks three times, about to knock a fourth time, when the door smoothly opens. Jongin can feel his pupils dilate.

“Jongin. Again.” he says in greeting. Kyungsoo is not wearing the dark t-shirt Jongin had fallen in love with. Instead, he has donned a black dress shirt and his hair is now combed, brown strands of it softly falling to the side. It’s almost as if Kyungsoo had cleaned up right after Jongin had left. “What a surprise. I wasn’t expecting you here again.”

“I’m sorry,” Jongin balances on his feet from side to side, “I kind of don’t have any cocoa powder. Was wondering if you had any.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, albeit in a friendly way, and it makes him look like an annoyed puppy more than anything. Jongin reminds himself that he loves puppies.

“Are you making chocolate cake?” Kyungsoo accuses swiftly, motioning the other boy to come inside. “And you don’t have cocoa powder?”

Jongin only gives him a toothy grin and pats Kyungsoo’s shoulder lightly before withdrawing. He can feel Kyungsoo tense up, even if he doesn’t say it.

“Good thing I have some.” Kyungsoo says instead, facing away from Jongin. “What exactly did you do before meeting me?”

“I starved to death and ate uncooked eggs.” Jongin laughs, “You’re my savior, Kyungsoo.” He can vaguely hear the other boy say something in a muffled voice, but he is too absorbed looking at Kyungsoo’s face to notice. At this point, Jongin doesn’t know if the pretty rosy color blossoming up on Kyungsoo’s cheeks is his imagination or not.

“Jongin.” Kyungsoo bleats again when he sees the other boy not respond.

“Yes?” he shakes his head.

“ _I said_ , do you want me to help you bake the cake?” Kyungsoo fully flushes now, his neck and ears ablaze.

“Yeah!” Jongin tilts his head before he beams broadly, looking dazed. “I’d love to. We’ll bake a cake together!” And Jongin feels, for the first time, that perhaps he might not be the only one pulling in this tug of war game.

//

  
When Monday comes around, Kyungsoo makes sure to wake up earlier than his alarm clock yet again.

This time he doesn’t grumble or complain or have an internal battle with himself. He simply wakes up, as if it were routine, and changes clothes, has breakfast, brushes his teeth. If he wears that cologne Chanyeol gave him for his birthday last year for the first time, it’s merely coincidence.

He doesn’t wear earphones this time around and he doesn’t tiptoe his way to his car. When he gets there, he doesn’t turn away either. Instead, he walks up to Jongin with a shy smile and a buzzing heart. If Baekhyun were here, he’d make sure to let Kyungsoo know he’s being the biggest sap alive; but his friend isn’t here, Jongin is, and Kyungsoo can say goodbye to his stoic pride at least once a day, can’t he?

This time, Jongin isn’t moodily looking at his phone’s screen either. He’s already facing Kyungsoo by the time he arrives. He wears a long beige coat topped with a yellow scarf and Kyungsoo has to remind himself that Jongin is a dork that can’t bake chocolate cakes without burning them.

“Morning, hyung.” he greets in a raspy, morning voice. Kyungsoo likes the sound of it. “Going to the library again?” Jongin raises an eyebrow.

Kyungsoo shakes his head, drawing close to Jongin and warming his fingers inside his own coat’s pockets. He sniffs and puffs out a cloud of warm air before replying, “No, uh, I came here to ask if you wanted a ride?”

Jongin’s mouth is agape with incredulity for half a second before he closes it. “Kyungsoo, you woke up this early just to ask me this? You could’ve just sent a message.” Jongin takes a step forward.

Kyungsoo shrugs, suddenly finding the decaying paint on the wall next to them the most interesting thing he’s seen in days. “I mean, I still have to wake up early either way. And it’s really cold for you to be waiting here outside.”

“Don’t worry about me.” Jongin exclaims, “You don’t have to do this.”

“So you don’t want a ride?” Kyungsoo says, small wrinkles on his forehead appearing. He hurries to say, “It’s ok if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do!” the tanned boy says, “I’d love to. I’ll just text Sehun and tell him to not come here today.”

Kyungsoo gives a warm smile before opening the locked doors with a single click. Jongin follows him and takes the shotgun seat, quickly letting out a sigh as the heater’s air hits his face. Kyungsoo’s car, Jongin decides, is very Kyungsoo-like. It’s clean, it’s comfortable, and it makes Jongin feel warm.

“Are you thinking of something mushy?” Kyungsoo deadpans. “I can see it all over your dumb smile, Jongin. Please don’t.”

Jongin cracks a laugh, but even if Kyungsoo tries to stop him, he can’t help but to enjoy this moment. Kyungsoo doesn’t notice the small heart drawn on the back window.

//

  
They fall into a routine of comfort.

For weeks now, Kyungsoo has grown used to waking up twenty minutes earlier than what he normally did; Jongin gets to sleep for half an hour more. Kyungsoo is not bothered. Even if he reluctantly says so, he truly enjoys talking to Jongin every morning before going to school.

He can tell Jongin also enjoys his company. And, if Kyungsoo dare say so himself, he might even think Jongin enjoys it a bit more than one would consider platonically necessary.

He doesn’t want to get any ideas, doesn’t want to get his hopes up for nothing, Kyungsoo is a careful person after all. But he also can’t help but think of the twinkle in Jongin’s eyes every morning, of all the glances he thinks Kyungsoo doesn’t notice, the way he stares at his lips a little too much, or the way he will sometimes leave a lingering hand on Kyungsoo’s arm.  
He doesn’t miss the way Jongin tries to impress him with awful jokes and silly dance moves.

Kyungsoo is a careful person, but with Kim Jongin by his side, he can’t help but float in a chimerical state and dream dreams he’s never had the courage to do before.

How embarrassing of Kyungsoo.

//

  
“And then you just swirl the rice into the water with your fingers.” Kyungsoo mutters, attention fixed on the pot of rice in front of him.”

“Isn’t that too much water, hyung?” Jongin asks from where he is perched atop Kyungsoo’s kitchen counter, feet dangling in the air.

“That’s why you just pour the excess out,” Kyungsoo demonstrates from the kitchen sink. “Just do it slowly and carefully so that the rice won’t fall and you’ll be good.”

“Wah,” Jongin says in amazement. To be perfectly honest, he isn’t paying much attention to the actual cooking. But he’s noticed the way Kyungsoo smiles when he tries teaching him how to cook and Jongin can’t say no to an apron-clad Kyungsoo with bright eyes. “You’re really good at this.”

Kyungsoo waves him away with a shoo motion and a humble laugh. “It’s just rice, Jongin.”

“I bet it will taste delicious.” Jongin jumps off from the counter, walking towards Kyungsoo from behind. He goes to take a piece of the _dakjjim_ Kyungsoo has already cooked, making sure to slither both arms near each side of Kyungsoo’s waist. When the older boy visibly reddens, glasses falling from his nose, Jongin laughs and steps back, popping the piece of chicken into his mouth.

“Let’s just eat.” Kyungsoo scowls before grabbing two plates and filling them with dakjjim chicken, rice, and vegetables.

Both of them end up having second servings, with Jongin praising Kyungsoo with each bite he takes. Kyungsoo thinks he’s ridiculous, but doesn’t tell him to stop.

It’s soon time for Jongin to leave, since he explains he has exams next week. He looks apologetic, as if he feels sorry he doesn’t get to spend more time with Kyungsoo. Truth is, Kyungsoo feels the same way, but if he can’t be the responsible hyung between the two of them, he doesn’t know who will.

Jongin leaves with promises of seeing him tomorrow and both are satisfied.

With tired eyes, Kyungsoo goes to make himself one last cup of tea before going to sleep. He needs to revise a chapter for his traditional korean class, and so, with books in one hand and cuppa in the other, he soon makes himself comfortable on his bed. He covers himself up to the neck, and hopes that the combination of warm tea and boring literature won’t lull him to sleep.

He makes it a little past midnight, before his eyes can’t take it anymore and his had falls back with a snore.

He dreams of cake that night. Of tan, soft hands. Of a unicorn owner named Yixing and a prince named Jongdae. He thinks there’s also a dragon and lots of birds. It’s a weird dream. And it’s amid a battle scene, when Kyungsoo is slowly stirred awake by muffled sounds.

He hears the noises even when his eyes are still closed, when his mind is still in state of dreaming. But with each second that passes, Kyungsoo’s mind awakens from his light slumber. The walls have always been thin, Kyungsoo can’t deny that, but he’s never had problems with being kept awake at night.

That’s when he starts paying attention. A squeak of the bed, high velvety moans, panting. Kyungsoo is fully awake now, erratic breathing listening in as his heart drops. The noises are coming from Jongin’s room, he knows this because of the times Jongin’s invited him in.

There’s more high pitched groans and Kyungsoo has to shut his eyes, even if the room is already stark black.

“ _Tao_.” one of the muffled voices screams and that’s all Kyungsoo can take before he bolts from his own room, blanket thrown carelessly over his head, as he settles in his living room. Kyungsoo is shocked, dumbfounded. That was Jongin, wasn’t it?

Jongin was having sex with Zitao, his flatmate, and Kyungsoo can only try to forget all the sounds that sit on the very back of his mind, like an ugly reminder.

At least those are easier to forget than the awful churn of his stomach and the knot sitting on his throat.

//

  
The next morning welcomes Kyungsoo with tired bones and dreary eyes. When he opens his eyes, he finds himself disoriented for a moment. _Why did he sleep in the living room?_

Oh, right.

Kyungsoo gulps down some water for his dry throat. He checks the hour. He thinks, for a moment, that maybe today he can ditch Jongin. That he can sleep in for once and let the other boy freeze to death in the cold, February morning weather. So that’s what he does.

He tries not to think much about it. He takes his blanket back to his room and locks himself. He can take at least half an hour extra in bed, even more if he doesn’t attend his first class that day.

He stares at ceiling when the first message arrives. It’s just a short ping that Kyungsoo set especially for Jongin, so he doesn’t even dare open it. It’s probably asking if he’ll come or not. A second one arrives no later than five minutes.

Kyungsoo has a whirlpool of emotions going through him, guilt sits at the very front, getting harder to ignore with each ping that echoes through the room. He knows he shouldn't be feeling this way, he knows he has no right to. He was the one who foolishly thought his cute neighbor, for once, could like him back. Too good to be true, he muses bitterly. He should’ve been more careful with his emotions, maybe a bit more guarded so he knows Jongin wasn’t the one to trap him with enchanted words or magical touches. It was all on Kyungsoo and his silly, hopeful heart.

Still, he’s only human and for now, he really hates Jongin for making him feel stuff he never wanted to feel in the first place. With a sigh, he grabs his cell phone and sends a message.

**ask sehun for a ride.**

He turns off the phone and goes back to sleep.

//

  
“Kyungsoo!! Open up!” a shrill voice calls out and almost makes Kyungsoo drop his bowl of cereal. Kyungsoo sighs at the spilled stain on his pajama bottoms.

He thinks that if he doesn’t make any noise and stays still for a few minutes, the intruder will either think he’s not home, or maybe dead, and will eventually leave him alone.

“Kyungsoo-yah!” the voice calls out again, “I know you’re in there, who do you think you’re fooling!”

Kyungsoo slowly waddles across the living room, trying to be as quiet as possible. He’ll lock himself up and wait for them to leave.

“Do you want me to get your hot neighbor to coax you out?” he shouts and Kyungsoo splutters in indignation.

“I’m coming!” he shouts before walking to get the door, fuming at the threat.

He opens the door with a slam. “What do you want?”

“Is that way to greet you best friend, Do Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun asks with a mocking pout, “Also, what is this?” he shoves a small plastic bag towards Kyungsoo. “It was already in front of you door by the time I got here.”

Kyungsoo examines the bag and with a sniff of the wafting aroma, he realizes it’s food. Atop a carton box of takeaway Chinese food is a wrinkled sticky note. A small :( is scribbled in blue ink.

“Uh, I ordered food.” He lies to Baekhyun. Baekhyun probably doesn’t believe him, and he can only be glad his friend doesn’t mention it.

“Let me in, I can’t be standing here all day.” Baekhyun gives him a small shove before entering the apartment. Kyungsoo still doesn’t know what his friend is doing here.

“Wah, I’ve missed this place!” Baekhyun looks around the living room with a mischievous glint. “Fond memories.”

“It’s cleaner now.” Kyungsoo mumbles, placing the still warm food on the kitchen counter.

“It must be boring living here by yourself.” Baekhyun laughs, taking seat in the couch closest to him. Kyungsoo goes on to sit next to him. He yawns before Baekhyun nudges his arm. “Aren’t you gonna offer me any tea? What kind of host?”

“Go make yourself tea, I’m not your babysitter.” Kyungsoo bites back, “Why are you being annoying?”

“What’s wrong, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun looks at him, serious for the first time since he’s got here. Serious for the first time in a while.

“You can make your own tea yourself, that’s what's wrong.” Kyungsoo replies, cheeks puffed.

Baekhyun shakes his head, “No. As in what’s wrong, why weren’t you in class today?”

Kyungsoo looks away for a moment, “I was there. I went to school.”

“You weren’t in history class.” Baekhyun pushes, not letting go. Not like Kyungsoo expects him to.

“I just got late to the first classes is all.” Kyungsoo sighs, “I forgot to set up my alarm and slept in.”

“Ok.” Baekhyun nods slowly. Kyungsoo is glad that Baekhyun believes him.

“Then what was that takeout box outside? And why did it have sad face in it?”

“I told you, I ordered it.”

“Lies. Just tell me Soo, I won’t make a big deal out of this I promise.” Baekhyun implores, “It’s not good to keep things to yourself, you know? Maybe I can help.”

Kyungsoo is seemingly interested in the loose thread hanging from his cushion. He murmurs. “So, I like Jongin. And Jongin doesn’t like me.”

“You like Jongin. Yeah, what a surprise.” Baekhyun replies before Kyungsoo punches him in the arm with a glare. “Ok, ok.” he lifts his hands in mock surrender. “But why does he not like you? You told him already?”

“Don’t be stupid, of course I didn’t.”

“Then how do you know?”

“I heard him having sex with someone else.”

Baekhyun stays quiet for a moment before snorting and spluttering out a laugh. “You heard him have sex? Why were you listening in you creep?”

“I wasn’t!” he cries out, “It was an accident, ok? And you’re missing the point!”

“The point is that Do Kyungsoo is a creep.” Baekhyun laughs before sobering up for a bit. “But I think you’re being silly, Soo-yah.”

“How am I being silly?” he scowls, sending daggers to his friend. “This isn’t particularly fun to me, you know?

Baekhyun sighs and pats him on the shoulder, “I know it must not be fun. But why are you jumping to conclusions? Having sex means nothing nowadays.”

“Doesn’t it?” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes in contempt.

“I have sex all the time, that doesn’t mean I like them or that I stop having crushes.” Baekhyun muses, “Not a big deal.”

“You have crushes? Sounds hard to believe.” Kyungsoo broods but stands up, changing the subject, “I’ll go make you some tea.” he walks to the kitchen, feeling Baekhyun’s eyes bore into him.

“You should talk to him, that’s all I’m saying Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun calls out, “You should just straight up ask him if he likes you, that’s it.”

“You make it sounds so easy.” Kyungsoo adds, “It must be nice to be you, Byun Baekhyun.”

“If he rejects you, so what?” he replies, following him into the kitchen, “If you really need to get laid, I can always ask Chanyeol to give out a helping hand.”

“That’s so thoughtful of you.”

“A pleasure.” Baekhyun replies, his stomach rumbling in hunger, “Now, can we eat the takeout food, I’m starving.”

“Go ahead.” he replies with a roll of eyes and small smile. He still can’t take away his eyes off the sticky note.

//

  
Next Thursday greets Kyungsoo with small shining rays of sunlight hitting his face. He wakes up with a groan at the sudden light and pulls the cover over his head. He tries to fall asleep again, but it’s almost impossible to do so with the sun blinding his face. He could stand up and pull the curtains but then that would defeat the purpose of staying in bed. It’s not long after that his alarm rings, and Kyungsoo, with a grumble, finally gets out of his cocoon of warmth.

The floor, as always, is as freezing as ice cubes; he should’ve invested on a heater, but winter has come and gone and spring has started to bloom in central Seoul. Next year, he will.

Kyungsoo looks at his phone’s watch and sighs. He hasn’t talked to Jongin since he came by to eat dinner with him, which was two days ago. Jongin sent several messages the first day, all promptly ignored by Kyungsoo. By the second day, yesterday, he didn’t send any texts, but Kyungsoo supposed he couldn’t be that mad at him since he sent him food at his door.

He wonders if Jongin is apologizing for whatever reason. As far as he is concerned, Jongin doesn’t know Kyungsoo is a little bit dead inside. He huffs out an air of annoyance and goes to get ready, he’ll face Jongin today.

By the time he leaves the apartment building, the sun is fully out and the soft chirps of birds can be heard. What a nice day, Kyungsoo thinks, if only he didn’t feel so moody.

The ‘05 Renault, like every morning, is sitting nicely in his parked space. And like, every morning, a tall, pouty boy too pretty for his own good is waiting right next to it. Kyungsoo heart clenches at the sight. Jongin really is too beautiful and he wonders how not everyone on god’s green earth has fallen for him.

Jongin sees him from afar, but even from where he’s walking, Kyungsoo can see his face contort in surprise as his eyes shine a tad brighter.

“Hyung!” Jongin calls with a smile and a wave.

Kyungsoo grimaces, he can’t smile back. “Hey Jongin.”

“Kyungsoo, where have you been? Were you sick?” Jongin asks in concern, lightly touching Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

It’s not like he completely does it on purpose, but Kyungsoo can’t help but flinch at the other’s touch, Jongin must notice this, as he gets wide eyed, but doesn’t mention it, instead, just removes his hands from the shorter boy.

“I’m fine. Was just feeling sick, don’t worry.” he lies in between mumbles, not making eye contact. “Shall we leave? Or is Sehun waiting for you?”

“I’ll just text him to not come over.” Jongin says in a soft voice, obviously reading the change in atmosphere between the two of them.  
Kyungsoo nods and heads to the driver’s seat. He turns the engine on and waits for Jongin to get inside; his fingers tap his lap anxiously. Maybe he shouldn’t have done this. Maybe he wasn’t ready to face Jongin yet.

Jongin huddles in and smiles, “Your car is always so warm, hyung, I really like it.”

“Must be the heater, I suppose.” Kyungsoo replies curtly.

“You were out of the apartment earlier than usual,” Jongin tries again, “I couldn’t even do the daily doodle in your car.”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to doodle anymore, winter is over.”

Jongin deflates, “Ah, right.”

There’s a short silence and Kyungsoo thinks he might as well turn on the radio before this gets too uncomfortable, even for him, but Jongin is anything but persistent.

“Did you enjoy the food I sent you yesterday?”

“You left it outside my door, it could’ve gone bad.” he chastises without taking his eyes off the road.

Jongin gives him a smile. He can’t see it, but he can _feel_ it, especially as he says, “But you did eat it, right? I promised you food.”

“I ate one dumpling.” Kyungsoo says, “Baekhyun ate the rest.”

“Baekhyun.” Jongin purses his lips.

After that, Kyungsoo doesn’t make an effort to make small talk and it seems like Jongin has gotten the hint. He can feel the tension slowly grow with each moment that passes, and Kyungsoo feels the need to say something--anything, but with one slow turn and a dry throat that won’t let him speak, they arrive at Jongin’s stop.

Kyungsoo thinks he ought to say something, a goodbye or at least a small smile, like he always does. It looks like Jongin is waiting for it too, but, when it doesn’t arrive, he turns to look at him, inexplicably sad eyes staring down at him.

“Jongin--” Kyungsoo starts.

“Kyungsoo, it’s ok.” Jongin beats him to it. “I get it, you don’t want to talk to me. I understand. And I’m sorry for forcing you to drive me all the way here when you were clearly uncomfortable.” his throat visibly gulps.

Kyungsoo’s guilt is slowly taking over but Jongin doesn’t allow any space to talk.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” he says again, looking down at his lap, “You don’t have to drive me anymore. And you’re right, no more doodles, spring has arrived.” Before Kyungsoo can utter a word, Jongin opens the door and swiftly gets out of the car, long legs taking him to the entrance fast enough.

Kyungsoo sits on his car, not bothering to turn it on again for a few minutes.

The rest of his day is spent with a gloomy cloud over his head. He can’t understand why Jongin would think he was making him uncomfortable, he had never done so. And it’s not until he gets back after a long day of school, that he realizes that it’s not Jongin’s fault and it never had been. Jongin was never the one to make him fall in love. And it’s not Jongin the one who’s meant to suffer.

With a heavy heart, he goes to sleep that night. He’s going to fix this for Jongin, even if it won’t be the happy ending Kyungsoo wants.

//

  
Saturday makes Kyungsoo a nerve-racking ball of emotions. He had not been able to sleep well the night before and he is suffering the consequences now. Not that he’s thinking of sleep anyways. He forgoes proper breakfast that morning, instead opting for a milkshake that’s probably not too healthy, and a measly cookie.

He walks up and down his flat, thinking over and over what he will say to Jongin, what he wants to convey. Most of all he just wants to tell him he’s sorry. He knows the other boy is never home on early Saturdays, knows that he goes off to the dance studio he studies at, and doesn’t get home until noon. So Kyungsoo spends hours in hell. His personal hell at least. And he really curses the day Kim Jongin drew a penis on his car window.

Even when he hears the soft footsteps make his way to the flat next door, indicating Jongin’s arrival, and Kyungsoo stays glued to his couch for half an hour more. He sends texts to Baekhyun, some to Jongdae. He plays a few games on his phone as well, plays with the idea that maybe it wasn’t Jongin who got home, maybe it was Tao.

“Get a grip.” he says to himself, “Get a grip and get over it.” In a surge of bravery--maybe foolishness, as he is yet to confirm, Kyungsoo opens the door and takes the seven steps it takes for him to get to Jongin’s flat.

Kyungsoo stands outside the door and he has to physically stop his hands from trembling. He’s usually not nervous, he knows this. Of course, it’s not every day that he has to apologize for being an asshole. Especially to someone whom he might or might not have a huge crush on. He closes his eyes and takes a breath. It’s not a big deal; he made a mistake, he was an idiot to sweet Jongin and now he’ll say sorry and everything will go back to how it was. That’s all he asks.

At this point he doesn’t mind if Jongin is out there having sex with Tao--or anyone for that matter. Jongin is nothing but a friend, and if Kyungsoo is anything on this earth, then it’s a good friend. He’ll have to live through it if it means Jongin will still be by his side.

He knocks on the door three times before waiting, hands sweating and jiggling his legs. He hears silence for a few good moments and even thinks that maybe no one is home. But just when he’s about to better think this through, a few rustling sounds can be heard from inside and the door suddenly opens. For one split second Kyungsoo thinks maybe it’ll be Tao opening the door, maybe Sehun, who knows. He doesn’t know if he’s lucky or just about the opposite when, instead, a warm, lovely face with full lips greets him.

Jongin’s eyes wide for a moment before scrunching up his eyebrows in confusion. Kyungsoo’s fright gets the better of him and he keeps shut for a few seconds.

“Hy--Kyungsoo?” Jongin asks first amid the silence. Kyungsoo can see the hesitancy in Jongin’s words, in his crossed arms.

He clears his throat, “I’ve wanted to ask you something.”

Jongin looks more confused than anything and Kyungsoo is thankful for that. He didn’t exactly think that Jongin would close the door on his face or anything, he knows he’s not like that, but there was always a small doubt of being rejected.

“Go ahead.” Jongin murmurs, eyes not looking at Kyungsoo. Does he still think he makes Kyungsoo uncomfortable? Kyungsoo can’t help but frown at the thought.

He coughs into his hand, “I was wondering if I could borrow any sugar from you.”

Jongin stay silent for a moment. Kyungsoo has the urge to look away from Jongin’s staring, but he stays put and none of them break eye contact for what feel like an eternity. Jongin’s must understand what he’s trying to say-- that they need to talk-- and his tense, alert shoulders visibly relax with a tired sigh, as if to say, _it’s not like I have choice._

“Go ahead.” he says instead, motioning for Kyungsoo to come in as he opens the door.

He looks around the house. There’s something cozy and pleasantly comfortable about Jongin’s apartment. A bit untidy, but always welcoming and warm, very much like the boy in question.

“I don’t have much left,” Jongin mutters from the kitchen, a small box in his hands. Kyungsoo turns to him, “I don’t need much, Jongin.” he replies back, walking to take the box. He wants to brush his hands against Jongin’s bigger one, but he reluctantly stops himself.

Instead, he just takes the box and looks at him, eyes finally unwavering. “I’m sorry.”

Jongin stares back, not backing away and that’s a good sign. “For what?” he replies with a deep voice. The taller boy is the one who breaks eye contact, and Kyungsoo tilts his head, forcing Jongin to look at him.

“I’m sorry for being as asshole, Jongin.” Kyungsoo says, his voice soft but firm.

Jongin huffs out in annoyance, a small scoff on his face. “Is this your way of pitying me, Kyungsoo? I don’t need it.”

Now it’s Kyungsoo’s time to scrunch his face, confused. “What are you saying?” he looks up at the younger boy, the lump in his throat slides down with difficulty.

“You feel bad for making me sad.” Jongin sighs, “That’s the kind of person you are. But you don’t need to apologize, Kyungsoo. It hurts, I’m not going to lie, but I’m not a delicate flower that needs to be protected from the truth. I’ll move on.”

_Move on from what? Kyungsoo’s idiocy?_ “I don’t know what you’re talking about Jongin.” Kyungsoo questions, “All I know is that I came here to apologize and to tell you that I don’t want us to ignore each other again.”

“I don’t want that either.” Jongin exhales, finally looking up at him.

And that’s the truth. That really is the truth. He doesn’t want to ignore Jongin anymore, or be ignored by Jongin. He wants to come every day after school and be welcomed by his warm smile and idiot jokes; to see him every cold morning as they’re both bundled in coats and scarves. He wants to be friends with Jongin and that is the truth. But it’s also a lie. Seeing Jongin so up close, with dark hair, and his cotton pajamas and the softest, sleepiest face, even if right now it’s wrinkled with confusion and worry. Kyungsoo just wants to kiss them all away and his stomach churns because this is the opposite of what he came here to do.

So he half-lies, half- tells the truth. “I want to be your friend Jongin.”

“You’re already my friend.” Jongin says in a low voice, his lips like magnets to Kyungsoo’s eyes. He steps closer. “And if that’s all you want, then I’ll take it.”

_That’s not what he wants, that’s not what he wants_ , a voice that sounds frighteningly like Baekhyun echoes inside Kyungsoo’s head. And he doesn’t have much time to process what Jongin has actually said, because for once, he listens to Baekhyun. Even if it’s an imaginary Baekhyun. “That’s not what I want.” he blurts out, not even registering the words Jongin or himself are speaking.

“Huh?” Jongin asks with open mouth, “Isn't that what you want, hyung? I'm willing to do it. Just don't pity me, please.”

Kyungsoo wants to choke on air and die. “Jongin that’s not what I want, and if you’re trying to make me say it and embarrass myself, then I will if that’s gonna make you feel better.”

“Say what? What’s gonna make me feel better?” he questions and Kyungsoo might think Jongin is playing dumb or something but right now he doesn’t care, he might as well get this over with.

“I like you, Kim Jongin.” he says in a flurry of sentences, his usual monotone voice becoming higher with each word he confesses. “And it’s really dumb and so are you for making me say this. I guess I’m dumber for liking you.” He can feel the blood rush to his face, can feel the veins on his neck and wrists pulsate to unmeasurable beats.

“Huh?” is all Jongin replies. “Hyung, is that--”

“Pitiful.” Kyungsoo coughs, and suddenly, with the words already out there, his courage slowly dissipates, eyes stuck to the floor, legs ready to bolt out of the room.

“Kyungsoo, is that what you wanted to tell me?” Jongin suddenly inquires, taking one long stride until he’s standing right in front of Kyungsoo, head looming slightly above his.

“Had you not noticed? Should I have kept quiet?” Kyungsoo’s face flushes.

“Can I kiss you?” Jongin murmurs, eyes on Kyungsoo’s lips very much like always has done, except this time he’s asking something he’s never asked before.

Kyungsoo is very confused and he wants to say yes, _his body_ is screaming yes, ready to jump out at Jongin, but he thinks he might be stronger than this. “You had sex with Zitao, Jongin. That’s why I got mad. It’s ok, I don’t have a problem now, but--”

“Sex with Tao?” Jongin pulls a face, his romantic staring has been broken. “Why would I have sex with him, Kyungsoo? He’s just my roommate.”

“But I heard you the other--”

“And he’s Sehun’s boyfriend.”

Sehun’s boyfriend. Tao and Sehun were having sex. Not Jongin and Tao.

When Kyungsoo was eight years old, he rode a roller coaster at an amusement park; he ended up barfing all over the people in the front row and it was the most embarrassing thing he’d ever done. Until now.

He can feel his face burn up with embarrassment and he wants to apologize to Jongin or run away from the place or maybe even start crying right then and there.

Instead, he closes the small gap between the two of them. He puts an assertive hand around the back of Jongin’s head to bend him down, and, in one second, their lips meet for the first time. With warm, slow air between them, the other takes the hint and parts his lips. Kyungsoo nudges and drags his tongue between Jongin’s lips and suddenly, their bodies buzz with delighted ecstasy.

“Is it safe to say I like you more than I like Tao?” Jongin says between breaths, a silly smile perched on his face. “As is most obvious.”

His bitten, strawberry lips and tangled hair make Kyungsoo think he doesn’t need any sugar, not when he has Kim Jongin right in front of him.

//

  
Monday doesn’t start like any other Monday starts.

His back has had the best sleep it’s had in years and it’s most definitely thanks to Jongin’s mattress. He looks to his right side, where Jongin lays, still asleep, the soft sunlight highlighting every beautiful angle on his face. Kyungsoo can feel his own heart beat faster at the sight. How embarrassing of Kyungsoo.

“Soo?” Jongin mumbles, eyes still closed, “Why are you awake?”

“It’s time to wake up, Jongin-ah.” Kyungsoo laughs with a deep voice still drowsy with sleep. “We’ll have breakfast, c’mon.”

“Bake me a cake.” the other boy holds on tighter to Kyungsoo, his tan arms bringing him closer. “But let’s sleep some more. Five more minutes.”

“Five more minutes.” the older boy repeats. He has never been a pushover, but when you have a giant teddy bear holding onto you, almost anything is possible.

Kyungsoo smiles as he nuzzles closer to Jongin’s warm body. He doesn’t need a heater anymore. Spring has arrived.

///

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! kudos, comments, and constructive criticisms are amazing!


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